one more sandwich story when i was six my mum made me ham sandwiches and my friend had skin that was the same colour as ham and i’d feel bad eating it because it felt like i was eating her and i’d always leave over my sandwiches and my mum asked why and i was too embarassed to tell her the real reason so i told her i was vegetarian like my dad and to make that lie consistent ive been vegetarian for the past almost 13 years
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLEi still can’t get over this.
ha im a piece of trash
As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?
you smooth fucker
when i’m done dealing with someones shit
X-ray of a meat grinder injury to the arm and hand
"not sure if this arm is broken or not, lets get an x-ray so we can assess the dam-OH MY GOD"
somebody lend that guy a hand
My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me so I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically
Update my mom just told me that if I had even a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there
Update #2: my dad apologized and told me he had only done it for ‘the grater good’