J♥'s Series

gvnkin:

botanize:

one more sandwich story when i was six my mum made me ham sandwiches and my friend had skin that was the same colour as ham and i’d feel bad eating it because it felt like i was eating her and i’d always leave over my sandwiches and my mum asked why and i was too embarassed to tell her the real reason so i told her i was vegetarian like my dad and to make that lie consistent ive been vegetarian for the past  almost 13 years 

Jesus Christ

arlogivensisacat:

faptop:

WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD WHY IS MY SENSE OF HUMOR THIS TERRIBLE

i still can’t get over this.
This Just Happened
Movie theater worker: *Upon seeing my smeared mascara* Just come out of The Fault In Our Stars?
Me: No
Me: How to Train Your Dragon 2

5herlockholme5:

thepainofthefeels:

5herlockholme5:

ha im a piece of trash

As someone who cares deeply about the environment, I am obligated to pick you up.
Is seven okay?

you smooth fucker

legalwifi:

when i’m done dealing with someones shit

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kartoffel-n:

tomtenacious:


vegan-vulcan:
X-ray of a meat grinder injury to the arm and hand

"not sure if this arm is broken or not, lets get an x-ray so we can assess the dam-OH MY GOD"

somebody lend that guy a hand

kartoffel-n:

tomtenacious:

vegan-vulcan:

X-ray of a meat grinder injury to the arm and hand

"not sure if this arm is broken or not, lets get an x-ray so we can assess the dam-OH MY GOD"

somebody lend that guy a hand

shutthefuckupcas:

shutthefuckupcas:

shutthefuckupcas:

My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me so I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically

Update my mom just told me that if I had even a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there

Update #2: my dad apologized and told me he had only done it for ‘the grater good’

adrians:

adrians:

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

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